Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I was feeling creative this morning =]

I decided to make a video for my lovely arislynne. she completes me.

have a beautiful day everyone.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

April 12, 2011

This song puts you in the best mood in the mornings =]

have a good day lovely.


Monday, March 21, 2011

They Were Just Words On A Page . . .

Walking down the vintage brick pavers the scenery was so beautiful. The foliage was made to fit the season. Beautiful white and yellow Lillie's were all around her. Cherry Blossoms were picture perfect, the smell was that from dreams. It seemed like nothing near her own reality.

Right before she finished turning the corner she looked down and something was not right. It was completely out of place, she leaned over and picked up a folded piece of stationary. It was edged into the pavers only deep enough to stay, but acted as if it was hiding from someone. It was as if the little lined travelers stationary was disguising itself from the ordinary and making itself only visible to the one who was meant to find it, the one who the words were for.

Partially guilt stricken, she unfolded the stationary. It was addressed to no one. She began to read the letter . . .

In every relationship I have been in no one has ever made me nervous, no one but you . . .

Today is October 5, 2003. The significance? Well, rewind two years ago, October 5, 2001, and it feels like yesterday. This day is more vivid to me than almost all of the others. . .

I ran into and was taken back by someone I was so certain of whom they were. The beauty of it all was the fact that I was completely forced to attend that luau, it was destined to be. In my world, everything was falling apart. My family was non-existent, my relationship was being held together by his family, and I was lost. In his world, however, everything was falling together. He was captain of his football team, a class representative, a leader, a friend, a personality. He was just beginning. In 7 months my life completely changed. I fell in love, a love that lasts forever. The kind of love that is it's first, it allows one to realize that there was no love before this. We had the most romantic, passionate first kiss that happened at the perfect time. He had respect for me, the kind of respect that is only given to someone special. And even though it may seem melodramatic . . they began at a time that will never be forgotten. That time will always remind me and bring me back to a lake, a full moon, and no one else around but you and me.

In 7 short months I built a legacy with you. We went to New York City and had a freezing, but incredible, New Years together in Times Square. I conquered two dreams at once, my first new years kiss and I watched the ball drop with someone I adored. A few days later we told each other we loved one another and we made love for the first time. It was everything I had imagined and more, we became one. And that night in an attic in a small town in North Carolina will never be erased from my mind.

Shortly after, I met your family. I fell in love with the most energetic, loving mother I had ever met in my life. We went to Cape Cod together and had a romantic night on the beach. In those 7 short months, we were crazy together. We spent every minute together and did things I have never dreamed of. It was a romance that no one can explain. We loved each other.

And then it was gone, taken away in the blink of an eye. Our lives changed and it was not right.

Here I am, looking back two years ago. I know that God allowed me to be at that luau on October 5, 2001 for a reason. The same reason I know that God allowed us to separate. At 19 years of age we had a lot of growing up to do. At 21 years of age we have a lot of growing up to do, and God knows that it means to not have one another in the process.

Last July my heart changed, and as much as it is not fair for you I have to tell you. I am so nervous though, only because I know you and I know where you are in life. I felt it all, all the pain I threw at you, all the ups and downs. I felt my heart finally accept the fact that you are right. 'I am broken.' And I was sorry, I have told you more times than I can count. I know that it does not take it back but I just wish I could let you know how much I deeply care and how sincerely sorry I am for it all.

So, now I sit here and I put it all down to you. With all of my heart I believe in true love. I believe that there is one person in this life that is made for one other person. I always wonder why out of so many people I know that I am one of the only ones who believes in this kind of love. The kind where you 'just know.' It was not until recently that I realized, it is because that is what we had, we 'just knew.' I cannot even recall all the times that we looked at each other and were just speechless cause what we were was crazy. It was unbelievable.

I went down to the Cape on the 22nd of August to apologize. But more importantly I wanted to tell you how I felt. I never did. . . I don't deserve any more chances. Getting the courage up, 2 weeks later I went down again. I left still not telling you what I wanted to say. Part of me has hope though, and I am holding on to that. I want to prove myself to you, if that is what it will take. I know there is no trust and that is what I want to build again.

However, this is not why I write. Because God has a timing for everything and I know that right now is not my time. It may never be my time. I write to tell you EVERYTHING. Everything I wanted to say but I couldn't. . .

I believe in us, I believe in what we had and I know that is was real. And if one day along this road there comes a time where yours leads you back to me, I will be here. You give me inspiration to be better, to conquer my life and make the most out of every situation. When I was with you in August, you said 'that everything happened so that we could be in the places that we are in today.' That is so true. I am not wishing that things are not the way they are right now. Each day is a new one for me and I love and cherish each one like it is my last. I am just hoping that my heart is right and that when it comes time, we can have our chance. The final one that we wished for 2 years ago. The chance to be grown, mature, to have our lives figured out and have them together.

I guess I went down to tell you, that yes my heart is open to meet people and have fun. To experience different things and have a few romances on the way. But no, my heart does not have the ability to love again. I believe that there is one person in this life that I am meant to have forever with and if my heart is right, then my forever is meant to be with you.

Half of me wishes this will get to you and the other half hopes that it will get lost. But if it does than here it is . . my heart on the line, in the most vulnerable position possible.

The Girl Who Is Hopelessly Romantic

Folding the letter up after reading, she was speechless. With no knowledge of whether or not the addressee got the letter, she put the worn piece of stationary snug back into its position and finished her turn around the corner to see an even more beautiful path than the one she was on before. To her . . they were just words on a page.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I am on my way home from Steamboat Springs, Colorado and can't help but think that tomorrow is the true beginning of the new year for me. It has been a crazy but amazing week and now tomorrow starts reality, all over again.

Yesterday Aris, Melessa, and I all skipped out on skiing to go get 'the best massage we have ever gotten.' It seriously was way worth the missed ski day. My massage therapist asked me in the middle of the massage if she could say a sort of blessing over me. Well. . . knowing me, of course I did not tell her no. I prepared myself during the rest of my massage for what this blessing could be like and really opened up to see what her beliefs were. She surprised me. She spoke words in a way that completely opened my eyes to life and really made me think about my year to come.

With the new found peace that her words provided me with, I was inspired to write my own little 'blessing' for my new year:

May I continue to dream big and only live in a way to conquer those dreams.

May I cherish my family and never cease to be amazed by the bond we have together.

May I wake up each day and treat it like it is my last.

May I leave the past in the past and only live for a bigger, brighter future.

May I take my goals and allow them to grow to higher places. [This world is big enough for an even bigger Alexandra]

May I .love. with all my heart and give love to the ones who will adore it in return.

May I have hope, may I have greater faith, and may I have stronger, deeper courage.

May I have more patience each day and continually allow people to bless me.

May I live my life fearless in knowing that there IS a plan for my life.

May I grow in Spirit, in knowledge, and in wisdom so that in 2012 I can be even greater than I am today.

With hopes that you all live life to your fullest this year, and that you take the life that you are given and make a difference in someones life. We are all here to be better, and use our own individual talents to help those around us.
Go out and make more of your life this year. . . I challenge you.

a. elizabeth

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Wasted Time

People always worry about wasting time and say things like 'time is of the essence.'
Why is time such a worry? Why must it not be wasted? What makes time 'of the essence'?

Essence is defined as the most essential or vital part of something. So, people are saying that time is most important in their lives.. Well this may very well be true. Time is very important in our lives, we do not get time back and each moment can be used to be bigger and better. Time is a great thing but what gives us this time? How do we make sure that we still have this part of life that is the most essential thing for us?

Our life is measured in heartbeats... With each new breath and each new heartbeat you have more life, you have more time. The very core of our time to be better, to live longer, and experience more things is all based on the amount of time our heart gives us with each beat.

Sitting here thinking about wasted time and asking myself, 'why did you even bother wasting your time,' I began to think about what was worst... The wasted time or the wasted heartbeats that were put into the experience?

I thought about brokenness and healing time and dug deep into what really mattered. I came to a personal conclusion that...
To me the time does not matter. Waste all my time that you want... But shame on you for wasting my heartbeats and my own gift of life that was being measured in each breath. Shame on you for wasting my time in the heartbeats that come after that are needed to fix the hurt that was caused.

Go ahead and waste the time... Waste the minutes in the days and the hours in the weeks... But think about the core, the heart, the soul, the feelings and emotions behind the time that you are wasting. Is it fair? I really don't think it is at all.

-alexandra mason

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

This New Year, I am going to be different!

Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you may have started and have never finished."

So... I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. Before leaving the house this morning, I:
(a) finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel,
(b) a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream,
(c) a package of Oreos,
(d) the remainder of my old Prozac prescription,
(e) the rest of the cheesecake,
(f) some Doritos,
(g) a box of chocolates,
(h) and a half bottle of scotch.

****You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Happy New Year!!!